more search engine terms.

Stumbled across nich’s post about how people reached his blog by searching for “girls can’t do chinups”. That’s nothing compared to what I’ve had over the years. I’m too damn lazy to capture and post a thousand and one screenshots, so you’re just gonna have to take my word for it that all these search engine terms are real and come from my wordpress dashboard.

• no such thing as conscience (ok not exactly what I was thinking about continuing my blog title with)
• how handphone get charged (what you think leh?)
• suicide acs(i) (WhAt???)
• emulatoring (wtf is that???)
• “ugly chicken puff” (surprisingly that really does link to this post)
• ive got loads of stuff to do but dont know where to start (Well for starters, you probably shouldn’t be wasting time on Google searching for random stuff)

I got a hell lot more from where that came from, but am too lazy to post more for now. Gotta get some rest, meeting Lighthink people tomorrow, at least won’t be stoning/rotting at home

goodnight stupid world…

since you all enjoy it so much.

I swear my mother just told me this.

Later go eat eggs, you very long never eat eggs already. Must eat more. Eggs good for you, so later go take your hard boiled egg hor.

Well, it ain’t that funny, but it just reminded me of this one. And I can hear my mother breaking open one of the eggs right now.

one more…

k she told me this long before my O’s during the0 June holidays when i wanted to bring my Macbook Pro (a laptop btw, for those of you living under a stone) out of the house. My mother told me this when I suggested it to her:

You can’t bring your Macbook Pro out of the house because your O levels are not over yet.

I went “HUH?” when I heard that, and she was serious. She really did let me bring it out of the house after the O’s were over. So her logic was: O levels not over = cannot bring laptop out of house.

Once again, im not kidding. She really did say this.

say something that you know they might attack u for.

Another quote from my mother, for those who know me well enough, it’s the usual thing:

DRINK WATER! DRINK MORE WATER! DRINK WATER!

I fucking swear. If there’s a drought in the near future and a few hundred people in Singapore don’t have enough water to drink, it’ll be because of me.

Hilarious search engine term

Some guy searched this on some search engine to get to this blog:

ie. “Is there such a thing as spiderman?”

What do you think? 

obviously,

I’m blogging like mad in this category, because they just keep coming

You ate fried rice yesterday and you didn’t eat fruits, so you better go and use salt water to gargle your throat because you’re going to have sore throat.

I don’t see the link once again, just cuz I eat fried rice = sore throat?!

wtf.

I think you’re addicted to the computer, everytime must surf the net.  

So I mug my ass off in the freezing library everyday for the past week, use the comp for around an hour when i come home everyday, and now after the fucking PTM my mother thinks I should be studying 24/7 or smth. Fucking irritating, thank god she just left the house.

another one for the books.

Because everyone says you look tired, that means that maybe you are actually unknowingly tired but just pretend that you’re not tired.

Granted, that’s not a word for word quote, but the meaning is definitely there. I told her that i usually look tired but am actually not tired, but now it seems that she thinks that I don’t even know when I AM TIRED. Like WTF?! She treats me like a 3 year old kid who doesn’t know what the word “tired” or “sleepy” means. Or maybe my sensory neurones are SOMEHOW damaged? So I can’t feel tiredness? Oh and then she followed up with this next sentence:

Because everyone got an underlying problem, so I’m trying to find out what it is for you.

Brilliant isn’t she?

UPDATE: Just 10 or 15 minutes after she said that sentence above, she followed up with this:

Remind me to prepare eggs for you on the weekend, because eggs are very nutritious and all children eat them, so maybe you don’t eat enough eggs that’s why always tired.

Holy cow. I wonder how she’s gonna beat that in the future. I swear she said every word of this, yes she used the words “nutritious” and said that all children eat them. Essentially, NOT EATING ENOUGH EGGS = BEING TIRED!

UPDATE 2: MORE EGGS!

Eggs actually very healthy one, don’t believe me go ask your friends, all of them take eggs one.
No it’s not that you look tired, it’s that you don’t have enough nutrition.

Ok, I guess she didn’t exactly beat her previous quote there but it’s still good enough I guess :P. This time it’s almost a word for word quote, I SWEAR, and by the way she meant that ALL my friends take eggs on a regular basis.

Dawn of a new category

I’ve had it. Decided to create this new category called “Quotable Quotes”, basically I’ll try to post as many nonsensical stuff my M says all the time.

Starting off with this one she just told me 5 mins ago:

Your O Levels aren’t over yet, so you have to sleep early.

PS: I swear everything I post in this category is true, though some might be hard to believe.