stuck.

argh, can’t seem to figure out how to start of my point for my DEP case. It’s strange that’s happening just 3 days after my last debate. I don’t know what happened, maybe those 2 days of brooding over the silver really got into my head. For some reason I just can’t seem to be able to write a proper point anymore. Maybe I should have finished my DEP case during the week of prep when my mind was still fresh

For now, the lost is still constantly on my mind. No I haven’t gotten over it.

damn my DEP case is gonna suck so badly.

and so it ends….

just laid down my blazer for the last time as a cat high debater. not exactly in the best state of mind right now to write a post. but bottom line is, we lost. the finals.

Singapore Secondary School’s Debating Championships, A division (2007): Runner-up.

2nd best team in singapore.

satisfied? no.

but there’s nothing i can do, and i can’t really say we lost unfairly. There was a chance that we’d win, no doubt, but can’t fault this one on the judges.

still.. it sucks. but what’s happened happened. it’s hard for me to think right now, because i don’t really know what to talk about

I still remember the night we got the motion for the first round of JGs.

“It’s here” - Kevin Lim

But now, all the preparation we’ve done just seems like a blur.

Easily spent hundreds of hours preparing for all the rounds in total.

But can’t really remember what it was all like.

Maybe I just don’t want to for now.

Tears have already been shed, doubt there’ll be anymore on my pillow tonight, they’ve dried up i guess.

It’s been a long road. Full of ups and downs.

Highlights:

Speaking in my first competitive match at u-14s in sec 2
Speaking for the first time as a team (me, arianto, tze kai) against worlds schools at BCs (i’ll always remember that match)
Finalists for Hwa Chong Invitationals
Champions of VJC Invitationals
Ranked 5th best speaker of series at VJC
3rd team in cat high history to reach JGs finals

Lowlights:

Losing Hwa Chong finals
Getting knocked out of NUS Challenge Shield in the Preliminary Rounds
Not getting rankedfor JGs (though I wasn’t really expecting that in the first place)
Losing JGs finals

Looking back, 1 champion, 2 finalists, 1 ranking.
content? somewhat
could have done better? definitely

Thanks Kevin, for putting up with us
Thanks Arianto and Tze kai, for putting up with me
Thanks Mrs Yap, for being a great teacher-in-charge
Thanks seniors/alumni, Xander, Jun Yi (for flying back from Australia to watch us), Sow Cheng, Darrel (good luck with the juniors), TAT (though I didn’t know you well), Poon, Robin, Mark (damn this is gonna take forever to list) Moz, Lum, Feng Yao, Kenneth, Shawn, Bryan Wong, Bryan Chan, Nick Dom, Andre, Joel…. (did i miss anybody??? so sorry if i did) Thanks for all your support, you’ve been an invaluable alumni to us.
Thanks PL (for sparring and training with us for almost a year, and good luck to you all), Liz (for helping out when kevin wasn’t free, and lending him your car), and Jebro (for your infinite wisdom).
Good luck juniors, and all the best.

It’s been a year long of damn bloody hard work under Kevin, with so much sweat and blood poured into our trainings and our cases. No amount of words or whatever can really describe fully the experience I’ve been through. Not just about debates, but being a person. I think I really found myself in Cat High debates, and I’m just hoping I found the right person to be. Yeah, it sounds so damn bloody corny, but so what? Truth’s the truth. Wish I could really turn back the clock now, I want to pour out all that blood and sweat again. It’s been fun doing so come to think about it, all the lessons we’ve missed, all the assemblies we’ve skipped. But more importantly, it’s what cat high debates has molded me into, there’s no way I’d be the person I am today if I had joined any other CCA. It’s unfortunate that my debating career has to end on such a low note. All I have now is a silver trophy to remind me of this night.

But that was it. The very last match. It’s over…. all over.

….

But essentially Ladies and Gentlemen, at the end of the day, what the proposition has failed to realise and thus not dealt with, is that I WAS a Catholic High debater, and damn I’m proud of that

now or never….

a year of hard work, comes down to six minutes.

this is it.

the cca that made me spend countless hours in school

the one that constantly made me one of the last few people to leave it.

the one that made me completely shagged by the time i reached home

the one that pushed me pass me limits

the one that made me screw up my prelim 1s

the one that sucked up all my brain juice at times.

the one that pressurised me more than school work or anything else did

……

damn i’ll miss it.

21 hours.

still in school, with the match starting in 21 hours time. i’ve practically disappeared off the face of the earth these 2 days, haven’t even seen most of my classmates. Still, there’s no turning back now.

Fucking tired and shagged. Same as yesterday.

Finals.

still can’t really believe that’s so.

almost there…

2 more days. Finals. lol, the thought of speaking using a microphone to hundreds of people is really scary. This’ll be much bigger than the Hwa Chong or VJC finals. so much bigger…. argh

and looks like we’ll have to help the sec 2s for their youth 14s. so i’ll still be part of debates i guess. but it won’t be the same for sure.

getting really really tired… gotta get some rest..

Coffee sucks. Period.

My tolerance level for it is really low. Despite drinking it roughly 9 hours ago, it’s keeping me awake at this hour, i’m actually typing this on my phone in the dark while lying on my bed. I simply can’t fall asleep. Instead i feel so awake that i think i could prep my case now or finish up my english essay or what not. Argh. I really regret drinking that bitter coffee now, especially since it was a large cup. And to think that i didn’t even finish the whole cup, i think i’d be awake till 3 am if i had done so. Still, wonder when i’m actually gonna fall asleep now. Ah well, guess there’s nothing else i can do except close my eyes and keep telling myself to enter dreamland, or i’ll still be all groggy in the morning, which i can’t afford to be cause i’ll need to finish up that essay.

a day of oddities.

Met up with Arianto and tze kai at the cathay starbucks for prep. Ended within 2 hours, and tze kai left. But arianto and i stayed on to do all sorts of shit, talk cock, watch a shit load of youtube videos and then he played dota while i did my english essay which was due more than a week ago. Finally left at around 8 to go eat at plaza sing before we went our separate ways (means we stayed at the starbucks for 8 bloody hours)

But the entire day was filled with oddities and.. erm.. oxymorons??? (for the lack of a more suitable word/term considering my limited vocab)

1. tze kai’s black shirt, striped and gloomy coloured “jacket”, blue jeans and to top it off, black shoes
2. Banana Coconut drink.. weird name, tastes weird
3. Banana Chocolate  muffin (k maybe not so weird, but still caught my attention)
4. Ugly Chicken Puff (yes, that’s what  they call it at starbucks)
5. “Uglier Curry Puff (with chicken)” (I shit you not, it was right beside the “Ugly Chicken Puff”)
6. My ice cafe americano (or whatever it’s called) was still bitter even after I added 6 packets of sugar.
7. a “happy emo kid”
8. Burger King’s fries are actually saltier than Macdonald’s now, seriously, you can actually SEE the grains of salt on the fries
9. most importantly, I’m 5 days away from my finals and this is what I’m doing.

not for long now.

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Do you know……… Our unsurpassed Freshness?

Starbucks freshness standards ensure your beans are fresh. In fact, we prefer to donate our coffee to charities than sell any past its prime. So, any opened coffee that hasn’t been sold after just 7 days in our stores is given away within our community.

5 more days…

so many things to do, case, dep case, homework….

no time at all..

time to hit the sack for now…

never ever been so mentally drained…

Read at least 60 odd pages on terrorism for 7 hours first, and I was already brain dead by the end of it. Then went to the B/C div finals (which I’ll blog about another time) before reaching home at like 11.30. Was too lazy to start working on my DEP case until later (yes I decided to try). And now after finally finishing the prop side, it’s already 2 pages long. No way am i gonna squeeze the op side into one page, and im almost beginning to feel a bit giddy from sleepiness, not to mention I’ve got a headache from the tiredness too, and my eyes are bloodshot and feel swollen. There’s no way I’m gonna finish start writing the opp side in the current state I’m in.

I don’t know how I’m gonna get my case done by tomorrow, though tze kai did say it was extended till the end of the month. But considering how it was he who told me, I’m still gonna treat the deadline as tomorrow. Still, finals take priority over this shit of course.

staring.

as i sit here in the debate room having skipped lessons early to train for the finals, we’re taking a short break, and I’m staring at the DEP application form. Unsure whether to begin filling it in or not. If I weren’t in the finals now, I’d be filling it in right now. But it’s due in just 29 hours time. Most of which I’ll spend training. 2 cases to write. With my finals to think about still. Seems impossible.

I really want to try, I’ll miss debating after i leave…